OH! DIDACTIC EVEN!

Hello again - here is the September edition of The Autolycan.  One story this time - a mystery thriller based somewhat loosely on a well known book about the Holy Grail.  Sorry I couldn't work out how to fit in an albino monk dripping blood from his cilice who made such a nicely inconspicuous assassin in the original.  Hope you like it - if so, please pass the link on to others.  By the way, you have to work at this one a bit........

Why is there a huge pentagram scratched into the inside of a lake in Kazakhstan? Good question.

                                                                                                                 Global Post

Gordon Lanbert slept. It was close to Christmas and he had had a hard day in the offices at Argos. His head was still swimming with figures when he went to bed, and he dreaded tomorrow. Saturday, Gordon knew, would be worse, much worse. Outside, the rain beat incessantly against his window. Inside, Gordon snuggled ever deeper into the duvet. He slept. Tomorrow was still a blessedly long way off.

An electronic chime roused him to the brink of consciousness. It chimed again. What the..... Phone. At this time of night? Phone. He groped clumsily. Eventually he located the handset.

'Yeah?'

'Professor Lanbert, I am truly sorry to disturb you at this time of night, but you are needed very urgently.'

'Whurr........'

'Professor Lanbert, I am.......'

Somewhere, an old memory stirred. This was not the first time. I am not Professor Gordon Lanbert. I share his name, but I am not a religious symbologist. I work for Argos.

'But, errrrr........what.....'

'Professor Lanbert, the phone line is not secure. I cannot speak openly. There has been a find of the utmost significance. You must prepare to leave at once. A car will collect you in precisely twenty minutes. Have your passport.'

The phone went dead.

Gordon tried to focus. Think man, think! In six hours from now he should be back at his desk for another day spent staring hopelessly at endless spreadsheets. Producing pointless information. Going home exhausted and unfulfilled. Or he could play along with the mistake. Quickly he got dressed and threw a few things into a holdall.

The pimply youth in the Citroen 2CV wasn't quite what he had been expecting, but then perhaps the pick up should be unobtrusive before the transfer to something more glamorous. Where are you taking me?

'I'm supposed to take you to Victoria' he said, reading Gordon's thoughts. 'There's an early morning bus to Heathrow. You'll find out more when you get there. Got the fare, have you?'

The early morning bus, peopled as it was with drunks and rowdies almost made him change his mind, but the greeting at the airport bus stop lifted his spirits immeasurably. She was slim and dark with raven black hair and perhaps the most beautiful woman Gordon had ever seen.

'I am Shevi, Professor' she murmured 'Shevi Pounee. I will tell you more on the plane. We're going to Kazakhstan. You can buy our tickets over there. I trust you are carrying a major credit card?'

Queueing for check in and security took no more then two or three hours but eventually they were airborne and Shevi began to explain.

'There is a beautiful lake in Kazakhstan, Professor. A river has been diverted and the water level has dropped, revealing a giant pentagram carved into the side of the lake. Nobody knows how or why. There are theories of course - early astronauts, black magic....'

Demurely, she looked up at him through thick black eyelashes.

'We need the help of a great symbologist.'

'But who are you? What is your interest?'

'We are a shadowy organisation, seekers after the Holy Grail. You will know that the pentagram is of great significance to the Grail.'

Play for time, Gordon, play for time.

'But what do your people understand the Holy Grail to be?'

Her silken poise suddenly deserted her.

'Well, it's hugely important, obviously. It's all bound up with the sacred feminine and the Catholic church. The Knights Templar come into it, so does the Vitruvian Man, I think. Oh, and the Priory of Sion. And Opus Dei. It's got a lot to do with Mary Magdalene – a lot of people don't know this but Michaelangelo slipped her into the Last Supper, you know, right next to Jesus....'

'Leonardo' said Gordon quietly, thinking of the new range of framed prints that had been selling rather well.

'What? Oh, yes.' She looked away. 'I get a bit mixed up' she added, unnecessarily. 'That's why we need the very special help you can give us.'

A half smile escaped Gordon's lips. Make it up as you go along! Google 'pentagram' and 'Holy Grail', little bit of basic knowledge, bluff your way through.......get the girl?

The taxi from the airport wasn't cheap, neither was the hotel (with two single room supplements, Gordon noted ruefully, wondering about his credit limit) but the trip out to the lake next day was beautiful. And there it was in bright sunshine, a huge pentagram cut into the rock, just as Shevi had promised.

'What does it signify, Gordon?' she breathed, and he trembled slightly at the use of his first name, but for the moment he was grateful for the single room and the opportunity for research it had afforded.

'The five points symbolise the five virtues of the seeker after the Holy Grail' he announced, hoping he could make up five plausible virtues if she asked. He was pretty certain chastity wouldn't be one of them. 'We have found a first clue to a path that might eventually lead to the Grail itself. Look upon this as a signpost.'

'But it's pointing in five different directions.'

Gordon smiled - knowingly, he hoped.

'We must look deeper. Each point will conceal a clue, probably at the tip. We must dig down a little at each tip.'

Shevi was astonished at the result, but not half as astonished as Gordon was. Starting at the topmost point, they uncovered a stone with 01 carved into it. Proceeding clockwise, the remaining four points yielded stones bearing the numbers 1,2,3 and 5.

'Gordon, what does it mean?'

Gordon spent his life dealing with figures and could barely believe his own eyes. Surely not! I recognise the sequence!

'We must dig one more time, right in the middle.'

They did. Another stone, this time bearing ~~~/~~~~.

Gordon paled. 'The Fibonacci Sequence!' he breathed.

'The.........?'

'A numerical sequence where each number is the sum of the preceding two. It's also famously an anagram of 'Fab Quiescence Icon'. It's telling us that this icon is quiescent, inactive. We must bring it to life..........'

' The lore of the Grail is full of anagrams', said Shevi. 'They're everywhere.'

'I see' nodded Gordon. 'Now, I guess the way to bring this icon to life is to continue the sequence.'

'So that would be 8 then 13, then 21 and, what, 34' said Shevi, slowly.

All colour had now drained from Gordon's face.

'My God' he whispered '813/2134, it's an Argos catalogue number.'

'….............??'

As if on autopilot Gordon explained. ' The Louvre Printed Mirror Sliding Wardrobe Door! A simple yet contemporary 4 panel floor-to-ceiling sliding mirror door with a silver frame which works in any surrounding, making your room look bigger whilst releasing spare space! We knock them out for about £120.  But I can't see how a mirrored door leads us to the Holy Grail.'

There was a long pause, then..........

'Perhaps I can cast some light on this,' said Shevi 'early light, anyway. I don't think it's the door that's important. I know I get a bit confused about all this, but I'm sure the Louvre in Paris comes into all this somewhere. The important word isn't 'door', it's 'Louvre.' Perhaps the pentagram's sending us there.'

'Early light, early light.....Oh! Early light!' exclaimed Gordon, and the phrase reverberated sonorously round his brain. He knew it was significant but had no idea why.

The plane to Paris put yet further strain on Gordon's credit card, but next morning they found themselves at the Louvre.

'Bonjour' smiled the receptionist ''Ow can I 'elp?'

'I saw an advert' improvised Shevi 'about an ancient burial chamber of huge significance'

'Ah! I take pride in my advert.'

Pride in my advert. This phrase too echoed round Gordon's head. Pride in my advert. Think man, think! Pride in my advert! Wait! Got it!

'The inverted pyramid!'

She inclined her head. 'M'sieur 'as a way with words. Suivez moi, s'il vous plaît.'

She led them to the Carrousel du Louvre and showed them a small skylight that resembled an inverted pyramid. Gordon tensed as he felt Shevi's hand slip into his. They held tight.

'We get zis question all ze time. People are always reading sensational books. But unfortunately, zere is nothing below the pyramid. Some work is being done as you can see, but zere is only a 'ole in ze ground.'

'Just a hole?'

'Mais oui, a hole, rightly'.

A hole, rightly. The explosion in Gordon's head was louder than ever.

Gordon and Shevi fell into each others arms.

Gordon quivered. 'The Holy Grail! We have completed our quest' he said.

'And found our true destiny' she replied, holding him closer.

'But my credit card cannot stand two single rooms tonight.'

She looked up at him and smiled.

ANAGRAM CORNER

What? After all that lot? Sorry – Anagram Corner has gone for a lie down and a cup of tea!