THE BALLAD OF KELLYANNE CONWAY

Hello, and welcome to February's edition of The Autolycan.  This month it's a USA special! The Ballad of Nigel Farage seemed to go quite well when I posted it last July, so this time I've gone for The Ballad of Kellyanne Conway.  Do feel free to add a verse or two if you wish!  Hope you like it, and, as usual, if you do, please pass the link on to others, Like it on Facebook or whatever........

THE BALLAD OF KELLYANNE CONWAY

(Kellyanne Conway) made the absurd claim that the new White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, hadn’t lied to reporters about the size of the inaugural crowd, he had merely presented them with 'alternative facts.' The Guardian

There's a right and a wrong way, thought Kellyanne Conway,

To climb to the top of the ladder.

I can tell Mr Trump that his ratings will jump,

And his heart will grow gladder and gladder.

I could aim for the glory and check every story -

Integrity set to the max.

Or with poise and with grace I could cut to the chase,

Cut out all the strife and just get me a life

- don't matter a dime and it saves loads of time -

If I make up alternative facts!

Alternative facts! Alternative facts!!

There's nothing so great for repelling attacks

They've power and vigour that truth simply lacks

We'll make up alternative facts!

A mendacious cabal says that crowds in the Mall

Were smaller than those for Obama?

Defrauding the nation! Misrepresentation!

You see? We've found us some armour.

But – hey! - don't just defend it, we'll have to extend it,

We're going to be sassy and clever.

Those press guys are faking, they're gonna be quaking,

They'll have to recount or be held to account,

They might have sold out - but the facts aren't in doubt

Those crowds were the greatest seen – ever!

Alternative facts! Alternative facts!!

There's nothing so great for repelling attacks

They've power and vigour that truth simply lacks

We'll make up alternative facts!

He grabs by the pussy? He's purer than Bush – he's

The truest of husbands there's been!

A braggart and ranter? Just locker room banter,

Just how could you be quite so mean?

Coarse and debased? He's perfectly chaste

The Donald's a stranger to crudity

And as you'd expect he's just filled with respect,

His morals aren't bent, he's a chivalrous gent,

And if evidence shows that the Emperor's no clothes -

We'll just call it alternative nudity!

Alternative facts! Alternative facts!!

There's nothing so great for repelling attacks

They've power and vigour that truth simply lacks

We'll make up alternative facts!

His grasp is profound, his policy's sound,

His prudence and wisdom expands!

Setbacks or fudges? We'll just blame the judges,

The world's in the safest of hands!

His Cabinet picks earn unanimous ticks,

And are truly the shrewdest of men

While Bannon and Pence are 'so strong on defence'

- and no, Mr Bannon is not a loose cannon -

If war comes – so gory – we'll just fake the story

We'll sell the big lie and it's your job to buy -

Till America's great once again!

Alternative facts! Alternative facts!!

There's nothing so great for repelling attacks

They've power and vigour that truth simply lacks.

We'll just carry on till resistance all cracks,

And you don't even need to cover your tracks

When you make up alternative facts!

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ANAGRAM CORNER 

                                                   ALTERNATIVE FACTS                                         

AN EVIL STATECRAFT