Hello, and welcome to February's edition of The Autolycan. This month it's a USA special! The Ballad of Nigel Farage seemed to go quite well when I posted it last July, so this time I've gone for The Ballad of Kellyanne Conway. Do feel free to add a verse or two if you wish! Hope you like it, and, as usual, if you do, please pass the link on to others, Like it on Facebook or whatever........
THE
BALLAD OF KELLYANNE CONWAY
(Kellyanne
Conway) made the absurd claim that the new White House press
secretary, Sean Spicer, hadn’t lied to reporters about the size of
the inaugural crowd, he had merely presented them with 'alternative
facts.' The
Guardian
There's
a right and a wrong way, thought Kellyanne Conway,
To
climb to the top of the ladder.
I
can tell Mr Trump that his ratings will jump,
And
his heart will grow gladder and gladder.
I
could aim for the glory and check every story -
Integrity
set to the max.
Or
with poise and with grace I could cut to the chase,
Cut
out all the strife and just get me a life
-
don't matter a dime and it saves loads of time -
If I make up alternative facts!
Alternative
facts! Alternative facts!!
There's
nothing so great for repelling attacks
They've
power and vigour that truth simply lacks
We'll
make up alternative facts!
A
mendacious cabal says that crowds in the Mall
Were
smaller than those for Obama?
Defrauding
the nation! Misrepresentation!
You
see? We've found us some armour.
But
– hey! - don't just defend it, we'll have to extend it,
We're
going to be sassy and clever.
Those
press guys are faking, they're gonna be quaking,
They'll
have to recount or be held to account,
They
might have sold out - but the facts aren't in doubt
Those
crowds were the greatest seen – ever!
Alternative
facts! Alternative facts!!
There's
nothing so great for repelling attacks
They've
power and vigour that truth simply lacks
We'll
make up alternative facts!
He
grabs by the pussy? He's purer than Bush – he's
The
truest of husbands there's been!
A
braggart and ranter? Just locker room banter,
Just
how could you be quite so mean?
Coarse
and debased? He's perfectly chaste
The
Donald's a stranger to crudity
And
as you'd expect he's just filled with respect,
His
morals aren't bent, he's a chivalrous gent,
And
if evidence shows that the Emperor's no clothes -
We'll
just call it alternative nudity!
Alternative
facts! Alternative facts!!
There's
nothing so great for repelling attacks
They've
power and vigour that truth simply lacks
We'll
make up alternative facts!
His
grasp is profound, his policy's sound,
His
prudence and wisdom expands!
Setbacks
or fudges? We'll just blame the judges,
The
world's in the safest of hands!
His
Cabinet picks earn unanimous ticks,
And
are truly the shrewdest of men
While
Bannon and Pence are 'so strong on defence'
-
and no, Mr Bannon is not a loose cannon -
If
war comes – so gory – we'll just fake the story
We'll
sell the big lie and it's your job to buy -
Till
America's great once again!
Alternative
facts! Alternative facts!!
There's
nothing so great for repelling attacks
They've
power and vigour that truth simply lacks.
We'll
just carry on till resistance all cracks,
And
you don't even need to cover your tracks
When
you make up alternative facts!
_________________________________________________________________________
ANAGRAM CORNER
ALTERNATIVE FACTS 
AN EVIL STATECRAFT
